Trousered Ape
An exercise in presumption.
Sunday, February 24, 2013
Just performed another long-overdue update to my sidebar.  I decided to drop the Latinity, since in fact my Latin is not good enough for such pretension.

I don't know why the archive list changed.
Saturday, February 23, 2013
Just because (a) we're losing a great Pope and (b) the current times have a whiff about them of Rome of the 2nd century B.C., or perhaps the Weimar Republic, it doesn't mean we can't engage in a little buffoonery:

The Ballad of Donovan's Brain

I've got Mister Donovan's brain, ha ha!
I've got Mister Donovan's brain:
It will keep nicely, stored
In this potion I've poured;
And I don't care a rap for the Medical Board.
I will study, record, puzzle out and explain
All the workings of Donovan's brain, oh yes -
Of Donovan's singular brain.

        I feel rather odd in my brain, I do -
        I feel rather odd in my brain:
        I'm not sure where I'm at,
        But it seems like a vat,
        And I sense there's a doctor who's wanting to chat,
        And I'm pretty sure that he will take every pain
        To be very good friends with my brain, indeed -
        He'll get very close to my brain.

What is it with Donovan's Brain, I ask -
What is it with Donovan's Brain?
I fear that he'll stifle
My ego; my life will
Be his to control to the tiniest trifle;
My poor little wife will think I've gone insane,
When I'm under the sway of his brain, oh dear -
Of Donovan's masterful brain.

        It's great to be Donovan's Brain, it is -
        It's great to be Donovan's Brain!
        The good Doctor and me
        Will go out on a spree
        (Though I'll have to enjoy it vicariously),
        And I think you'll agree that it's perfectly plain
        That it's grand to be Donovan's Brain, hurrah!
        To be Donovan's wonderful Brain!

Oh, how I hate Donovan's Brain, I cry -
That horrible Donovan's Brain!
I must bow to his will,
I must march to his drill,
Now this kooky experiment's lost all its thrill -
So I'll battle until I am free from the rein
Of tyrannical Donovan's Brain - en garde!
I challenge you, Donovan's Brain!

        The Doctor's resisting my brain, he is -
        The Doctor's at war with my brain.
        If he's after a fight,
        He will find that despite
        All his efforts, he's bound to my cerebral might.
        For his pitiful plight I have only disdain,
        He can't stand up to Donovan's Brain, oh no -
        He's no match for Donovan's Brain!

To Hell with you, Donovan's Brain! It's down
To Hell with you, Donovan's Brain!
I've unraveled your tricks
And got out of my fix,
And to all of your boasting and threats I say nix!
Your special elixir has gone down the drain,
So it's farewell to Donovan's Brain, it is -
It's farewell to Donovan's Brain!

        It's the finish for Donovan's Brain, alas,
        The finish of Donovan's Brain.
        It's a terrible toss,
        But the Doc is the boss -
        Success brings you brickbats as well as applause -
        And I guess that my loss is humanity's gain,
        So it's farewell from Donovan's Brain, it is -
        It's farewell from Donovan's Brain.
Monday, February 18, 2013
Some things are the same as they were 240 years ago...
Saturday, February 16, 2013
I have pretty much retired from satire, save for a limerick here and there in a comment thread, but others have not; please see:

Red Cardigan's excellent parody at And Sometimes Tea,


A hilarious sendup of clueless reporting by Devin Rose at St. Joseph's Vanguard.
Monday, February 11, 2013
So, Pope Benedict is abdicating.

1. Pray.
2. Trust the Holy Spirit.
3. And relax.
Saturday, February 02, 2013
Mrs. Darwin has posted another 100 book meme. I have at some point in my life read 39 of them; I could probably pass a pop quiz on 21.

The ones I could pass a quiz on:

A Tale of Two Cities
Alice in Wonderland
And Then There Were None
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
Green Eggs and Ham
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
Little House on the Prairie
Pride and Prejudice
Romeo and Juliet
Sense and Sensibility
The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes
The Fellowship of the Ring
The Hobbit
The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe
The Odyssey
The Picture of Dorian Grey

The others I have read:

A Wrinkle in Time
Anne of Green Gables
Brave New World
Crime and Punishment
Fahrenheit 451
Jane Eyre
Lord of the Flies
Of Mice and Men
The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn
The Brothers Karamazov
The Catcher in the Rye
The Count of Monte Cristo
The Good Earth
The Great Gatsby
The Little Prince
The Princess Bride
The Stranger

The remainder, which I have not read, and probably never will:

A Game of Thrones
A Prayer for Owen Meany
American Gods
Anna Karenina
East of Eden
Ender's Game
Fight Club
Gone With The Wind
Interpreter of Maladies
Interview with the Vampire
Invisible Man
Les Miserables
Life of Pi
Like Water for Chocolate
Little Women
Lonesome Dove
Memoirs of a Geisha
My Sister's Keeper
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
One Hundred Years of Solitude
Slaughterhouse Five
The Bell Jar
The Book Thief
The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao
The Color Purple
The DaVinci Code
The Fountainhead
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
The Giver
The Golden Compass
The Handmaid's Tale
The Help
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
The House of the Spirits
The Hunger Games
The Joy Luck Club
The Kite Runner
The Master and Margarita
The Notebook
The Pillars of the Earth
The Poisonwood Bible
The Road
The Secret Garden
The Stand
The Sun Also Rises
The Time Traveler's Wife
The Unbearable Lightness of Being
The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle
Their Eyes Were Watching God
To Kill a Mockingbird
Water for Elephants
Where the Sidewalk Ends
Wuthering Heights

[Edited to add The Fellowship of the Ring, inadvertently omitted from the initial posting of the list.]


Lord Jesus Christ, Son of the living God, have mercy on me, a sinner.

Please pray for the souls in Purgatory

May the souls of all the faithful departed, through the mercy of God rest in peace.

New address bobtheape88...at...gmail...dot...com

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Still More Nescopecks
The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms
Beat It
The Dick and Jane Version of The Cask of Amontillado
How I Defeated Death
The Last Question
Donovan's Brain
The Hokey Pokey: Longfellow
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The Hokey Pokey: Edgar Lee Masters
Cat Without a Clue
Die Hard IS a Christmas Movie
Blofeld's Cat
More Nescopecks
Grandma Got Done Over by the Turkeys
Thirteenth Night, or, What You Kill
The Danish Astronomer and His Moose - a Drinking Song
Roe v. Wade
If Shakespeare Had an MBA
Strange Religious Xylophones
The Ruler of the Pope's Navee
Oh, Purple Cow - a Sonnet
An Incovenient Tragedy
The King Tut March
Back Yard Haiku
Triolets of Horror
Bishop Trautman and the Translators
The Drunken Ferret Villanelle
The Evil Ternominated
How Do You Solve a Problem Like Godzilla?
Bishop Bo-Peep
Kronos & Kids - A Mythological Sitcom
A Scary Vegetable
St. George? Never Heard of Him
Godzilla - The Musical
Shocking Contraception, or, Ball Lightning
Legion of Faithbots
Occasioned by the Acquittal of Michael Jackson
If Edgar Allan Poe had written “Dick and Jane”

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