Trousered Ape
An exercise in presumption.
Sunday, January 30, 2005
Back in December I mentioned, in passing, that the company I work for held a sexual harassment training session (i.e., how NOT to do it), promising to explain my disgruntlement* therewith at some future time.

Such a thing irks me in a number of ways:

Firstly, it takes time away from my work.

Secondly, it smacks of the sort of "re-education" one hears of finding in extreme left-wing environments.

Thirdly, it is imposed in such a way that there is no useful way to protest it. The company I work for is a subsidiary of a larger corporation (which I shall call the MoonBeam Corporation - not its real name); so any complaint I might make can be deflected: "It's not our fault, MoonBeam made us do it."

Fourthly, and most strongly (though least rationally), I cannot help taking it personally. Being required to attend such training implies that I need it. While, Heaven knows, I am no saint, I can still say with some considerable confidence that I would not engage in such unprofessional, ungentlemanly, and unChristian behavior; so I feel some degree of direct insult in being treated otherwise.

However, it gives me an excuse to blog my cathartic reaction to the first session I went through, some years ago:

(To the tune of "The Battle Hymn of the Republic")

We hear the voice of MoonBeam, as the voice of God on high,
"Yea, if thou dost miss this training, thou dost kiss thy job goodbye."
We mutter and we grumble, but we nonetheless comply,
For MoonBeam's word is law.

Sexual harassment training:
We know it's no use complaining;
The policy is there, and for our feelings they don't care,
No, MoonBeam's word is law.

We go into the session as obedient as sheep.
It may be dull and boring but we dare not go to sleep.
We jump through all the hoops because we have our jobs to keep,
And MoonBeam's word is law.

Sexual harassment training:
Though we find it rather draining,
We are as good as gold, we do exactly as we're told,
For MoonBeam's word is law.

And now the training's over, here's a summary review:
They spent the session telling us what we already knew:
We shouldn't do things that we wouldn't ever think to do.
And that is MoonBeam's law.

Sexual harassment training:
Though we cannot help refraining
From any celebration, still, with due subordination,
We bow to MoonBeam's law.

* From dis- + gruntle, obsolete frequentative** of grunt; the prefix dis possibly being used in an intensifying sense, signifying that the disgruntled one is more likely to repeatedly grunt to express his displeasure.

** Frequentative (a word I had not heard of before): a grammatical term denoting the frequent repetition of an action, e.g., a frequentative verb. ***

*** I just love the English language.
Sunday, January 09, 2005
Dialogue at Mass today between the Ape and the Storm Queen:

A: Honey, I have a dollar for Dunkin Donuts after Mass. Now, they're going to do a special collection after Communion today. You know about the earthquake and the tidal wave that killed so many people? There are a lot of other people who lost their houses, and we're giving money to help them. Do you want to give the dollar, or go to Dunkin Donuts? It's your choice.

SQ: Well, I guess I'll go to Dunkin Donuts.

A: OK.

A couple of minutes later:

SQ: Daddy?

A: Yes?

SQ: I've changed my mind. I don't want to go to Dunkin Donuts.

A heart open to grace.


Lord Jesus Christ, Son of the living God, have mercy on me, a sinner.

Please pray for the souls in Purgatory

May the souls of all the faithful departed, through the mercy of God rest in peace.

New address bobtheape88...at...gmail...dot...com

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