Trousered Ape
An exercise in presumption.
Tuesday, December 16, 2025
State of the Ape XLV
Where to begin?
Way back when all this started in the spring of 2022, I asked for prayers for me and my family. Somehow, I have never renewed my request for the latter. I would very much appreciate continued prayers for my wife and daughters. I think it’s probably harder on them than on me.
Meanwhile: I recovered nicely from my first dose of chemo and had my second dose on 11/24. My oncologist decided to reduce the dosage by 20% and what a difference it made. No dehydration, no unusual weakness; I was able to have a great Thanksgiving. The only effect was (I think) to exacerbate my allergies and bring on a chronic cough that lasted 7 to 10 days during the second week; it’s also possible that the cough was a direct side-effect of the chemo. Anyway, I had my third dose this past Monday, so we’ll see what happens.
Incidentally, my blood work after the second dose showed an abnormally high white blood cell count; I don’t know what it means. My red blood cell count and hemoglobin were abnormally low, which may explain part of my permanent fatigue: anemia.
And, because old people fall apart (and love to drone on about their health issues), I’ve managed to develop a new, non-cancer related problem. About four weeks ago I developed severe pain in my left shoulder and neck, and partway down my left arm. We went to the ER, where they diagnosed it as a trapezius muscle spasm and gave me a prescription of a muscle relaxant. This didn’t seem to do much good; although ibuprofen did, when I allowed myself to take it (I don’t like to take painkillers, even non-prescription ones, unless absolutely necessary).
When we went to my oncologist, three weeks later, the pain was still there. He ordered an immediate MRI, which showed up what is probably the true cause: degenerative changes in my cervical (neck) vertebrae, causing nerve compression.
Oddly enough, in the past couple of days the pain has almost completely gone away spontaneously (thank you, God!).
Getting away (finally! you exclaim) from my health, I have good news on the writing front. The Muse came back on November 24 and I’ve been working pretty steadily on Edwina 3. I resumed work on Chapter 13 and I’m now up to Chapter 19. I’m not sure how many I have to go, because toward the end of the first draft I was just scribbling away by hand without worrying about chapter breaks. So, whoever responded to my prayer request of 10/22: Thank you!
I did not mention this earlier, because it’s difficult to put into words. During my hospital stay last month, I was visited a couple of times by the Catholic chaplain. During our talk, he brought up an image of Jesus with one hand on His heart and reaching out to me with His other hand; and for the first time in my life I had a sense of Jesus as a person who loves me, and not just a remote figure. As a result, I no longer have what could be described as a vague uneasiness (I didn’t let it go beyond that) about did I dot all the “I”s and cross all the “T”s; now I think about wanting to be with Him. I’m also, under what I believe to be the guidance of the Holy Spirit, trying to simplify my prayer life which, as with many other things I do regularly, had gotten more and more elaborate.
So, that’s where we are. As always, taking it one day at a time.
Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
Haven’t run out of clerihews yet:
Boasted Maurice Ravel
As he plummeted down a well,
“It cannot be supposed
That I am anything but composed.”
Henry David Thoreau
Had a little cellar below
His shack at Walden Pond,
Where he kept a nubile blond.
When Jules Verne
Spent a short sojourn
In an aerial machine,
He turned quite green.
And because it's funny:
Where to begin?
Way back when all this started in the spring of 2022, I asked for prayers for me and my family. Somehow, I have never renewed my request for the latter. I would very much appreciate continued prayers for my wife and daughters. I think it’s probably harder on them than on me.
Meanwhile: I recovered nicely from my first dose of chemo and had my second dose on 11/24. My oncologist decided to reduce the dosage by 20% and what a difference it made. No dehydration, no unusual weakness; I was able to have a great Thanksgiving. The only effect was (I think) to exacerbate my allergies and bring on a chronic cough that lasted 7 to 10 days during the second week; it’s also possible that the cough was a direct side-effect of the chemo. Anyway, I had my third dose this past Monday, so we’ll see what happens.
Incidentally, my blood work after the second dose showed an abnormally high white blood cell count; I don’t know what it means. My red blood cell count and hemoglobin were abnormally low, which may explain part of my permanent fatigue: anemia.
And, because old people fall apart (and love to drone on about their health issues), I’ve managed to develop a new, non-cancer related problem. About four weeks ago I developed severe pain in my left shoulder and neck, and partway down my left arm. We went to the ER, where they diagnosed it as a trapezius muscle spasm and gave me a prescription of a muscle relaxant. This didn’t seem to do much good; although ibuprofen did, when I allowed myself to take it (I don’t like to take painkillers, even non-prescription ones, unless absolutely necessary).
When we went to my oncologist, three weeks later, the pain was still there. He ordered an immediate MRI, which showed up what is probably the true cause: degenerative changes in my cervical (neck) vertebrae, causing nerve compression.
Oddly enough, in the past couple of days the pain has almost completely gone away spontaneously (thank you, God!).
Getting away (finally! you exclaim) from my health, I have good news on the writing front. The Muse came back on November 24 and I’ve been working pretty steadily on Edwina 3. I resumed work on Chapter 13 and I’m now up to Chapter 19. I’m not sure how many I have to go, because toward the end of the first draft I was just scribbling away by hand without worrying about chapter breaks. So, whoever responded to my prayer request of 10/22: Thank you!
I did not mention this earlier, because it’s difficult to put into words. During my hospital stay last month, I was visited a couple of times by the Catholic chaplain. During our talk, he brought up an image of Jesus with one hand on His heart and reaching out to me with His other hand; and for the first time in my life I had a sense of Jesus as a person who loves me, and not just a remote figure. As a result, I no longer have what could be described as a vague uneasiness (I didn’t let it go beyond that) about did I dot all the “I”s and cross all the “T”s; now I think about wanting to be with Him. I’m also, under what I believe to be the guidance of the Holy Spirit, trying to simplify my prayer life which, as with many other things I do regularly, had gotten more and more elaborate.
So, that’s where we are. As always, taking it one day at a time.
Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
Haven’t run out of clerihews yet:
Boasted Maurice Ravel
As he plummeted down a well,
“It cannot be supposed
That I am anything but composed.”
Henry David Thoreau
Had a little cellar below
His shack at Walden Pond,
Where he kept a nubile blond.
When Jules Verne
Spent a short sojourn
In an aerial machine,
He turned quite green.
And because it's funny:
