Trousered Ape

An exercise in presumption.

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Fr. John Zuhlsdorf, at What Does the Prayer Really Say?, enlightens us as to the origin of the term "nova" to refer to a star newly appearing in the heavens.

He also tells us about the Danish astronomer Tycho Brahe, who coined the term, and had a false nose and a pet moose (which got drunk and fell down the stairs - the moose, that is).

Which explains the origin of:

The Danish Astronomer and His Moose (a drinking song)

There once was a man named Tycho,
Whose nose was made of brass.
He strolled down the lane in the pouring rain,
And slipped in the mud and with a thud,
He fell down on his –
Astronomy! Astronomy!
Without the stars, where would we all be?

He had for a pet a great big moose,
That loved to eat the grass.
It got astray in a field of hay,
And stepped in a hole that was made by a mole,
And came down on its –
Astronomy! Astronomy!
Without the stars, where would we all be?

Now Tycho liked to gaze at stars
Through a magnifying glass.
He stared all night at the stars so bright,
Then came the dawn, he gave a yawn,
And tumbled on his –
Astronomy! Astronomy!
Without the stars, where would we all be?

He went out in his very best suit,
And returned with a lovely lass.
He thought with pride she would be his bride,
But she saw the moose and turned white as a goose,
And fell back on her –
Astronomy! Astronomy!
Without the stars, where would we all be?

So Tycho quarreled with the moose,
A dreadful fight, alas!
But they made it up o’er a foaming cup,
Or three or four, or even more,
Of right strong beer, which restored good cheer,
And they danced on the chairs, and tripped on the stairs,
And each fell on his –
Astronomy! Astronomy!
Without the stars, where would we all be?

Posted by Bob the Ape 5:20 PM

Saturday, January 30, 2010

It started with a post at Darwin Catholic:

I'm darkly amused by the picture of a pro-abortion counter-protestor to the March For Life carrying a sign which says, "Won't Get Laid Without Roe v. Wade". Why, precisely, does the bearer think that anyone else should be worried by this?

In the comments, then, one Kyle R. Cupp opined, "Such rhythm, such rhyme! Her sign could start the chorus of a hit pop song."

Like waving catnip in front of a cat...

I’m a girl with great ambition,
Dreaming of a high position:
Who would date a quarterback, a movie star, a politician;
But they don’t get a chance
Of a glance
Into my pants
Unless they meet my one condition,
Which is:
They don’t get laid,
No they don’t get laid,
They don’t get laid without Roe v. Wade!

Chorus
Roe v. Wade
Must be obeyed!
Roe v. Wade
Can’t be betrayed!
Roe v. Wade
Must be obeyed!
Won’t get laid
Without Roe v. Wade!

I’m a girl whose heart just sings
When she’s given fancy things:
Like penthouse flats and charge accounts and furs and diamond rings;
But if you bluff
Don’t buy me stuff
It’s just too tough
Because I come with one small string
Attached:
You don’t get laid,
No you don’t get laid,
You don’t get laid without Roe v. Wade!

(Chorus)

Bridge
Roe v. Wade!
It’s the Constitutional solution.
Roe v. Wade!
It’s the emanation with elation.
Roe v. Wade!
Oh yeah, this penumbra’s got our number.
Roe v. Wade!
Got no maybe punished with a baby.

I’m a girl who’s really hot,
Who can give you such a lot;
So come dance with me, romance with me, oh babe, I’ll hit your spot.
But before I kiss
I tell you this:
You get no bliss
If you don’t keep this rule I’ve got.
I say:
I won’t be laid,
No I won’t be laid,
I won’t be laid without Roe v. Wade!

(Chorus)

(Note: In case it isn't clear, the above is intended as satire.)

Posted by Bob the Ape 6:04 PM