Trousered Ape

An exercise in presumption.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Of course, just because it's scary doesn't mean we can't have some fun with it...

(Enter three Leftist politicians.)

(1st)

I thought to make a peace
With my country’s enemies
(While proclaiming in disgust
That their enmity is just).
So I went to visit Fidel Castro,
Genuflected,
Kissed his beard –
Then some two-bit right-wing blogger said I was a disloyal traitor –
And his combox loudly cheered?!

(Others)

We know how to deal with his sort:
Take him straight to Federal court.
Testify with tears astream
How he hurt your self-esteem –
Off to Leavenworth he goes,
Bring his blogging to a close!

(2nd)

I thought to help the poor,
Make their livelihood secure
(Told them everything is free,
Told them all to vote for me).
So I introduced a bill to spend a
Million billion
Dollars more –
Then some no-name wingnut blogger said I tripled the national debt –
Set his combox in a roar?!

(Others)

We know how to deal with his sort:
Haul him into Federal court.
Beat your bosom, grieve and mourn,
Play the victim of his scorn –
Lock him tightly in the pen,
No more blogging for him then!

(3rd)

I’m a Catholic, well-acquainted
With the writings of the sainted
(In the Cliff Notes version, though,
Which I skimmed – once – long ago).
So I swore God had no problem with that
Great decision,
Roe v. Wade –
Then some Christofascist blogger said I spoke like an ignorant fool –
And his combox humbly prayed?!

(Others)

We know how to deal with his sort:
Drag him off to Federal court.
Rend your garments as a token
That your tender heart is broken –
Chains and shackles on him load,
Bloggers reap what they have sowed!

(All)

So, bloggers beware,
You’d better take care:
The gates of the prison are opening wide;
So watch what you say,
Don’t mock us, or they
Will close with a clang with the bloggers inside!

Posted by Bob the Ape 1:42 PM

Saturday, May 09, 2009

Farewell to all the conservative blogosphere that isn't devoted to recipes and knitting patterns.

A bill, recently introduced in the House of Representatives by Linda Sanchez D CA-39, would make it the law that

Whoever transmits in interstate or foreign commerce any communication, with the intent to coerce, intimidate, harass, or cause substantial emotional distress to a person, using electronic means to support severe, repeated, and hostile behavior, shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than two years, or both.

The purported intent of this bill is to outlaw "cyber-bullying"; but, should it be enacted, look for many of politicians and bureaucrats of a Leftish persuasion to develop an exquisite susceptibility to emotional distress when severely and repeatedly criticized.

The bill has 14 co-sponsers who, along with Rep. Sanchez, should be subjected (within the bounds of charity) to as much severe and hostile emotional distress as possible, while it's still permissible:

Marcy Kaptur D OH-09
John Yarmuth D KY-03
Lucille Roybal-Allard D CA-34
Lois Capps D CA-23
Timothy Bishop D NY-01
Bruce Bradley D IA-01
Raul Gijalva D AZ-07
Phil Hare D IL-17
Brian Higgins D NY-27
William Clay D MO-01
John Sarbanes D MD-03
Danny Davis D IL-17
Joe Courtney D CT-02

and the fig leaf:

Mark Kirk R IL-10

(Hat tip to the Media Blog at NRO.)

Posted by Bob the Ape 7:26 AM

Friday, May 01, 2009

My bishop, the Most Rev. Edward Cullen, D.D., Bishop of Allentown (God bless him!), has had the following published in the latest edition of the A.D. Times, the diocesan newspaper (unfortunately not, as far as I know, available online):

    In recent weeks I received a number of letters and telephone messages wanting to know my position on the University of Notre Dame’s decision to invite President Obama to speak at commencement and to award him an honorary degree.
    My response has been that the university’s decision is "disappointing" and "not in harmony" with a statement issued by the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops in 2004 that said Catholic institutions should not honor those who act in defiance of Church teaching.
    In a letter recently made public, Notre Dame's president Father John Jenkins, C.S.C., has interpreted the USCCB statement as not applying in this case because President Obama is not Catholic.
    Bishop John D'Arcy of the Diocese of Fort Wayne-South Bend, where Notre Dame is located, has responded.
    He has written, "The document does not say Catholics [emphasis added] who act in defiance," but rather that Catholic institutions should not honor "those [emphasis added] who act in defiance of our fundamental moral principles."
    In the formulation of the document the word "those" was not restricted to Catholics.
    Bishop D'Arcy's letter also restates the teaching of Pope John Paul II, "support of other rights is false and illusory, if the right to life, the most basic and fundamental right and the condition for all other personal rights, is not defended with the maximum determination."
    As regards the interpretation of a document, Bishop D'Arcy states accurately, "When there is a doubt about the meaning of a document of the USCCB, where does one find an authentic interpretation? A fundamental, canonical and theological principle states that it is found in the local bishop, who is the teacher and law-giver in his diocese."
    I stand in solidarity with my brother bishop and share the sentiments that he expressed in his letter. As does he, I regret that this situation has taken place and call on the leadership at Notre Dame to face the issue squarely.

Posted by Bob the Ape 7:23 PM