Trousered Ape

An exercise in presumption.

Friday, January 26, 2007

Until I think of something to post, this will have to do; in which I revisit a favorite theme (this time, inspired by a sequence in Godzilla, King of the Monsters, wherein the massed schoolgirls of Japan are televised singing some kind of hymn for deliverance):

HOW DO YOU SOLVE A PROBLEM LIKE GODZILLA

Appallingly, up from the sea he rises with a roar -
With apprehension we observe his progress to the shore -
We fear he must indulge his lust for violence and gore -
Godzilla's come to pay another visit.

He reaches land upon the strand and bellows in his might -
About his feet the people run in panic-stricken flight -
He looks about, then puts to rout an army sent to fight -
We really wish Godzilla wouldn't visit.

("I'd like to say a word that's less unkind."
"Then say it."
"Godzilla…" - long pause - "…oh, never mind.")

How do you solve a problem like Godzilla?
How do you save Japan from certain death?
What are the words that best describe Godzilla?
A horrid great lizard with radioactive breath.

Many a shot and shell we fire at him,
Emptying arsenals and magazines.
But all of it bounces off,
Provoking the beast to scoff
And sneer at our blazing guns and war machines.
Oh, how do you kill a monster like Godzilla?
How do you blow him all to smithereens?

When we see him we're afraid,
And our terror is betrayed
In our pallor and our quaking and our sweat.
By some miracle we prove
That we're able still to move,
And we get as far from him as we can get.

No deliverance in view,
Is there nothing we can do?
Shall we hire our own monster if we can?
Let the call go far and wide,
"Monstrous ally, to our side!
Come and save us, Mothra…Barugon…Rodan!"

Fiery and destructive is Godzilla,
Ruin and flaming wreckage mark his path.
Nowhere is there a refuge from Godzilla,
Nowhere is safe from his insensate wrath.

How do you stop his trail of devastation?
How do you halt him in his mad career?
How do you make him go,
So we can rebuild Tokyo?
How do you make this creature disappear?
Oh, how do you finally get rid of Godzilla,
And get him for the sequel, next year?

Posted by Bob the Ape 6:49 PM